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Hardest. Decision. EVER: Which fantasy land would you travel to?

I saw this floating around Facebook today.

Seven Doors

First, just in case you’re confused about what those seven places are, here’s a brief intro:

Narnia: From The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. A seven-book series best known for the book The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, which, though read first by most people, is actually the second book in the series. The series titles, in order of publication, are: The Magician’s Nephew (1), The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (2), The Horse and His Boy (3), Prince Caspian (4), The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (5), The Silver Chair (6), The Last Battle (7).

Neverland: Neverland is the land where the Lost Boys live in J.M. Barrie’s play-turned book-turned movie(s), Peter Pan, about a boy who never grows up.

Wonderland: Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll, wrote two books titled Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, about a little girl named Alice who falls asleep in the sun one day and may or may not have a real or dreamed adventure in a fantastical place called Wonderland.

Hogwarts: J.K. Rowling was an impoverished British mum who wrote a bajillion dollar, best-selling book and movie series about her title character, Harry Potter. You may have heard of him if you haven’t been living under a rock for the last 10+ years. Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is where Harry attends school for the course of the seven book series. The titles in the series are Harry Potter and the… (1) Sorcerer’s Stone, (2) Chamber of Secrets, (3) Prisoner of Azkaban, (4) Goblet of Fire, (5) Order of the Phoenix, (6) Half-Blood Prince, (7) Deathly Hallows. You can actually enter this world either by visiting the village that’s been erected as a replica of the village around Hogwarts, or virtually through Pottermore.

Camelot: Camelot is the kingdom featured in the legends of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table. You might also be familiar with the Lancelot/Guinevere love triangle. I highly recommend gorging yourself on the cheesy, romantic movies made about this storyline such as First Knight starring Richard Gere and Sean Connery and King Arthur starring Clive Owen and Keira Knightly.

Middle Earth: Middle Earth, the land created by J.R.R. Tolkien in his Lord of the Rings series, is probably one of the most completely imagined world in all of fictional literature, including its own language, history, ballads, folklore, and generations of literature, not to mention plays, movies, adaptations, etc. of the original works. The books in the series include The Hobbit, a stand-alone novel written first, followed by a trilogy containing the titles The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King.

Westeros: Recently increased in popularity due to the Game of Thrones HBO television series, Westeros is the land that George R.R. Martin‘s A Song of Ice and Fire series. The titles in this series are: A Game of Thrones (1), A Clash of Kings (2), A Storm of Swords (3), A Feast for Crows (4), and A Dance with Dragons (5). There are two more as-yet-unpublished works due out in this series. There is some speculation as to whether he can publish them prior to the television series moving past the already-published plot.

After much agonizing, here are my thoughts on which door/location I would choose:

Mr. Tumnus (played by James McAvoy in the movies) is in Narnia, but he’s also part goat, so where could our love go, really? Plus, C.S. Lewis gets all religion-y in the later books, and I’m much more into magic and less into mysticism.

Neverland is magical (the Peter Pan story ties for my favorite children’s classic), and I would give anything to fly with Peter to the second star to the right and straight on til morning, but I don’t know how to reconcile the growing old enough to have sex yet stay young enough to be able to remain in Neverland thing, so best to stay away.

Wonderland is also a magical place full of odd riddles and wisom (Alice in Wonderland is the other story that ties for my favorite children’s classic), but I’d probably bitch-slap the White Rabbit and the Queen of Hearts, so would lose my head sooner rather than later. Best to stay away. Despite Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.

Camelot is a hard one because I’m thinking poly marriage between me, Guinevere, Lancelot, and Arthur, but Middle Ages bathrooms and medical care? No thanks.

Viggo Mortensen, I mean Aragorn, is in Middle Earth, so it would be really hard not to go there, but I am SO not the Liv Tyler version of Arwen, so that probably wouldn’t work out either.

Fuck Westeros because violence/misogyny/women-are-fucked-and-not-in-a-good-way.

So, in conclusion, Hogwarts. We all know HP saves the day in the end, and it’s in contemporary time, so yay for modern conveniences with the charm of magic, and who doesn’t want to go to Hogwarts? That place is the definition of a rockin’ good time, especially hanging out with the Weasley twins and getting Hermoine to loosen up. Also, I’d like to pioneer their study abroad or student exchange program with the other schools.

Where would YOU choose to go?

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