Catchy Books I’ll Never Read

Today’s post is a tribute to all those books out there with great covers and/or funny/interesting/catchy-sounding titles which I may or may not pick up but which I will certainly never read. In case they seem like something one of you all might be interested in, I thought I would list some of my favorites here.

The Abyssinian Proof by Jenny White
9780393333725, $13.95

Love this cover! Recently released in paperback, here is the 3-second blurb: Nineteenth-century Istanbul thrills in this page-turner about a conspiracy to steal an ancient reliquary whose secret could change the world.

It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita by Heather Armstrong
9781416936015, $24

Being released in hardcover sometime this month: From the creator of one of the most popular personal blogs on the Web comes an irreverent and captivating parenting memoir covering the joys and indignities of pregnancy, childbirth, and all the unexpected emotions that come with having a baby.

Reasons for and Advantages of Breathing, Stories by Lydia Peele
9780061724732, $13.99

Being released in paperback in August: With this first book of fiction, a gifted young writer brings together eight superbly crafted stories that peer deeply into the human heart, exploring lives derailed by the loss of a vital connection to the land and to the natural world of which they are a part.

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread by Don Robertson
9780061452963, $12.95
Published in paperback to be released in May, I find it ironic how many accolades this book is getting in its republication, considering its title. But maybe it’s just me:
More than four decades after it was originally published, Robertson’s stunning novel remains fresh and relevant, as it explores the notion of courage and what symbolizes good in humanity.
On a quiet autumn afternoon in 1944, nine-year-old Morris Bird III decides to visit a friend who lives on the other side of town. So he grabs the handle of his red wagon and, with his little sister in tow, begins an incredible pilgrimage across Cleveland . . . and out of childhood forever. Set against the backdrop of one of the worst industrial disasters in American history, Don Robertson’s enduring, beloved masterwork is a remarkable story of destiny, bravery, and responsibility, as fresh and relevant as when it first appeared in print.

How to Meet a Man After Forty and Other Midlife Dilemmas Solved by Shane Watson
9780670020850, $24.95

Coming out in hardcover in June, should I ever decide to date men again, particularly when I’ve reached the age of 40, I now know where to go: For all of the forty-plus Bridget Joneses, a refreshingly funny guide to middle-aging with grace.

When I Married My Mother by Jo Maeder 9780306817953, $25 A memoir being published in May, as much as I love you, Mom, I think we’d both shoot each other if this had to happen: A former disc jockey tells a hilarious, moving story of giving up her fast-paced, youth-obsessed life to move to the Bible Belt in order to care for her ailing, eccentric mother.

You’d Be So Pretty If… by Dara Chadwick 9780738212586, $15.95 Coming out in May, not nearly as funny as the title sounds: A “Shape” magazine columnist’s guide to breaking the mother-daughter cycle of bad body image and low self-esteem.

Go Ask Your Father by Lennard J. Davis 9780553805512, $25 Also released in May, also doesn’t seem as if it will live up to its title. This is the subtitle: One Man’s Obsession with Finding His Origins Through DNA Testing

There are the books I’m actually currently reading, the books for school I should be reading, the advanced copies of the children’s books being published soon that I should page through, the stack of suggested reading from friends/family sitting next to my bed, the few books that I’m in the middle of that I keep putting down and then coming back to, and then there are these books – books that are clearly not in any of the above categories, nor will they even make it into the stack of books I have no intention of ever really reading but I like to have in my room in case I’m for some reason stuck in the house for months on end and therefor have a 10% chance of getting to.

But you may feel differently. One of these books may really strike your fancy. If so – go for it! And then report back to me.

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